Want to be a winner if you sabotage yourself?
Self sabotage is the most common cause of failure when it comes to sticking to a weight loss program or trying to change your health and lifestyle.
It is always good to try and keep a sense of humor when looking back at your sabotage attempts. I should know as I have done some pretty ridiculous and outrageous things in my time to sabotage myself. I have decided to put pen to paper and share my experiences and I am asking you to come and join me.
By sharing some of your most ridiculous, amazing, desperate stories, excuses, lies you could WIN!
If your story is chosen for the book or appears on the website you will WIN a 6-month FULL MEMBERSHIP to the MIND & BODY POWER PROGRAM valued at over $167.00.
Go to:
http://mindandbodypower.com.au/?p=682
TO SHARE & WIN TODAY!
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Mind and Body Power - Weight Loss Program for the Whole Family
It has been a while since I posted and I have been slack. I have been very busy building a new website and business.
Mind & Body Power is a weight loss program the includes the whole family. Even if only 1 person in the family has a weight problem then it is an issue that needs to be tackled by the whole family. Each person who is overweight needs support in making lifestyle changes to lose weight or to become healthier. It is easier for the person who is trying to make changes if the changes are universal within the family unit. The Mind & Body Power focuses on team work in all aspects of life.
The Mind & Body Power program looks at the mind, relationships, emotions, thinking, nutrition, and activity.
It is a gradual program over 16 weeks that guides people in making changes in each part of their life each week. Changing everything at once leads to failure! This program leads to success because it is gradual.
If you are someone who wants to make sustainable lifestyle changes that improve your self-esteem, health, relationships, knowledge and skills then the Mind & Body Power program is for you.
Check it out: http://mindandbodypower.com.au
Seeking Overweight or Obese Family or Couple for Program Urgently!
I am currently and URGENTLY seeking families and/or couples in Brisbane who would like to partake in a mind and body 16-week fitness program for FREE.
It is NOT a Biggest Loser type program! It is a fitness program based on walking so the participants only need to be fit enough to be able to walk.
The program has been developed by me and is based on my personal and professional experiences.
The program will include such topics as:
- good nutrition
- budgeting and buying healthy food options
- working together
- activity - based on a walking program
- communication
- emotions
- relationships
- parenting (if it is a family)
- self-esteem
- self-efficacy.
The criteria that I need for the right people to participate is:
- healthy enough to participate in a walking program
- overweight or obese
- families - mum, dad and kids
- couples
- willing to commit and participate for up to 16 weeks (the program usually costs in excess of $4000 but it is FREE to the participants)
- willing to meet with me on a weekly or fortnightly basis
- keep progress notes
- willing to be interviewed and talk about some of your history of weight problems and experiences of the program for a high profile women’s magazine and for the business entities that I own
- willing to be photographed in a high profile women’s magazine and for the business entities that I own
The aim of the Mind & Body Power program is to empower you to develop your own long-term weapon for success against obesity. The program helps you to gain the power, control, resources and skills to choose the life and lifestyle you want to live.
If you are interested please email: kellee@insideweightlosssucess.com
Sleep, Stress and Weight - Some tips and hints
In the last article I discussed my experiences with insomnia and how it changed everything about me. This is the continuation of my journey and also some of the tips and hints that may or may not help.
If you are trying to lose weight, the research is pointing to sleep as one of the critical contributors to weight loss and weight gain. I have definitely experienced that! I put on approximately 6 kilograms (13.2 pounds) overnight! No matter what I changed in my diet, how much I exercised I would only be able to change my weight by a kilo or two. Months prior to this, if I had have done the same routine, I would have easily lost 3 kilograms (6.6 pounds) easily. I noticed that I have cellulite EVERYWHERE! I didn’t have this before. I had it in the typical problem areas as most women do but it has crept to the top of my arms, back and stomach!!
I finally went to my doctor after trying everything I knew including hypnosis scripts, herbal teas, herbal supplements such as valerian and passionflower, aromatherapy. This all helped me to get to sleep but within an hour or two I would be awake again and couldn’t get back to sleep. My last resort (and requested by my partner) was to try the pharmacology route. My doctor said it is only a short term process to get my body/mind, habits and hormones back in balance and then I should be fine to come off the medication. I have done this now for 3 days and am amazed in the difference! I have slept for a minimum of 5 hours to a maximum of 8 hours. I have noticed the following changes:
- I am more alert and have slightly more energy (although a little grogy at times from the medication)
- I have a slightly higher tolerance for stress (still improving - but the stress is very high right now)
- Within 3 days I have lost almost 2 kilos (4.4 pounds) without trying
- I look and feel as though I am holding less fluid
- I feel as though I am happier (you will have to ask my partner and step son about that though)
- My cravings for food have started to reduce - I no longer NEED caffeine, sugar and carbohydrates first thing in the morning to kick start me
I feel as though I am back in control of my life again rather than the lack of sleep, fatigue and motivation.
This is now what my bedroom looks more like at night!
But I feel more like this because I am having such deep sleep - but I don’t look like this! And we know that Homer may get enough sleep but his diet is appalling, he drinks way too much beer and doesn’t exercise!
Some basics that are really important to help reduce cortisol (stress) levels and to help you sleep better so you can naturally lose weight are:
Sleep, Stress & Weight - The Effects
It has been a while since I lasted posted anything and this is because the stress in my life has multiplied in the last month or so:
- I have become a full-time mother to my partner’s child (I did not expect to be a full-time mother until I had my own)
- We have a small house and we have had to change our house around to fit our new addition in
- The mother is taking us to court over custody even though the child has stated his requests (this has contributed to the most significant stress)
- The money that it is costing to fight a legal family battle
- Starting 2 new businesses
- Oh, I forgot to mention that my partner snores and talks in his sleep!
This is what it has looked like in my bedroom for the last couple of months! 
As a psychologist you would think that I could use all of the tools in my tool box to help me manage the stress and sleep better. Well to no avail! Due to the increased stress, my sleep has suffered and I have averaged 2 hours of sleep per night. It has been a good experiment for me to see how it affects me and to qualify the research on the effects of sleep on the human psyche and body.
Many years ago I had a back injury with chronic pain and this interrupted my sleep considerably. I was getting approximately 4 - 5 hours of sleep per night. Oh how fondly I look back at those times when I now lay in bed wide awake, trying techniques but nothing is working.
I found this collage of pictures below and thought that it perfectly describes insomnia:
I noticed several changes in my own mind, body and behaviour:
Sleep Cycles
The following information is from
The Sleep Cycle moves from Stage I to REM then it begins all over again and continues throughout the night. Most people complete 3 to 5 cycle each night. Each cycle lasts between 90 and 110 minutes. Towards the end of sleep the body does not reach stages III and IV as it prepares to wake up.
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Non REM sleep
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Stage I
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Light sleep |
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Eye and muscle activity slow |
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Brain activity decreases by 50% |
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Individual may experience sudden muscle contractions |
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On this stage the individual and be easily aroused |
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Stage II
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Eye movement stops |
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Muscle activity stops |
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Brain waves slow down |
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Small burst of brain activity begin (also known as Sleep spindles) |
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Stage III
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Deep sleep Starts |
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Brain begins to produce slow delta waves |
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There is no eye or muscle movement |
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Stage IV
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Deep sleep |
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Brain produces only delta waves |
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No muscle or eye movement |
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Hard to awaken |
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REM sleep
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Heart and breathing rates increase |
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Eye movement is quick and irregular |
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Blood pressure rises |
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Breathing becomes shallow |
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Almost complete loss of muscle control |
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Penile erections (males) and vaginal moistening (females) |
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Sleeper begins to dream (more intense, vivid dreams) |
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New Year’s Resolutions versus Goal Setting
Goals and Resolutions are very different in:
- how they are set
- how they are defined
- how they are prepared for
- the achievement/success rates.
A study by Wiseman et al. (2007) tracked 3000 people who had set New Year’s resolutions. Even at the beginning of the study only 52% of people were confident that they were going to achieve their goals. However only 12% of the group achieved their resolutions.
The same study also discovered gender differences in goal setting and success.
Men were 22% more likely to succeed when they set goals that were rather than general. For example, losing 1kg per week rather than losing weight. Men were also more successful if they focused on the rewards of the goal such as losing weight to become more attractive .
The study found that women were 10% more successful if they announce the goal publicly to friends and family. They benefit from the support and encouragement if they have setbacks rather than completely failing. It also found that women were reluctant to announce their goals publicly. It may be helpful to place the goals on a large piece of paper and keep it in view in the home to see as this provides motivation.
Resolutions are usually based on an all or nothing mentality. What this means is that people will change their diets radically or start exercising 4 days a week (yet they haven’t been active for over a year). Eventually you get fatigued, you feel deprived, if exercising you may get injuries and then you stop and return to your old habits.
How you enter into goals are very different. Goals help you to be fully prepared, are gradual and you implement the support systems that are required for success. If you follow the basic principles of Goal setting below you will start out your year already ahead:
- Long-term goals – the big picture goal.
- Short-term goals - Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Short-term goals are small, specific increments and allows sometimes daunting tasks seem more achievable. For example, a long-term goal might be to lose 20 kilograms of body fat by the 1st of July. This is then divided by the number of months and weeks, before the specified date (target loss/months to target date/4 weeks = per week amount of fat loss to be achieved). Therefore, if it was the 1st of February then the amount of fat loss per month would be 4 kilograms per month and 1 kilogram per week. This amount makes it seem achievable with a long-term outcome. Short-term goals provide you with focus, control, encouragement, motivation, progress, and success.
- Personal meaning – THE WHY! – you must ensure that your goals are yours, not others. If the goals are purely and honestly for you, it will increase your ownership, satisfaction, attitude, focus, commitment, and motivation. If you are trying to achieve goals for someone else or the goal is someone else’s, you most likely won’t achieve it or the changes will not be permanent.
- Specific – as much detail as possible. Define a specific behaviour or skill eg. I want to reduce my body fat by 10 kilograms. By stating that you want to lose weight is too general and does not allow the behaviour to be measured for progress.
- Deadline – are specific target dates for achievement of long-term and short-term goals. Without a deadline, dreams will remain dreams.
- Measurable – the outcome of the goal can be measured for progress for example, behaviour, skill, weight loss, clothing size. The more ways you can measure your achievement the better. Sometimes you may not achieve what you would like to and you may feel disheartened and feel as though you failed. However, if you have several ways of measuring the same goal you have other things to focus on to keep you motivated. For example, your weight may plateau and you may get frustrated but you can also look at your measurements, your clothing, how you feel, your fitness levels, your resting heart rate etc to see your progress and to know that you are still on track and progressing. Knowing you have reached a goal helps you gain increased motivation, self-belief, and feelings of being a success.
- Sufficiently challenging yet attainable – if goals are too easy your motivation will be low. If they are too difficult you will not be able to achieve them and you will become discouraged and lack motivation. Always ask yourself “will I be able to do this?”. If the answer is “no” then setting the goal is a futile activity.
- Graduated – most people throw themselves into change however this causes failure as the stress and pain created by trying to change everything in their lives, at the same time, becomes too great and people revert to old behaviours and comfort zones. Changing a particular behaviour in gradual steps, over a specific time period is most optimal as it causes minimal pain and stress. Your current behaviours were developed over time therefore, you need to replace them with healthier behaviours gradually for sustainable change. For example, if you go gun-ho into exercising four times a week when you have been sedentary for several years, it will be too big an expectation and you will most likely fail. A better approach would be to start with two days a week for two weeks for 20 minutes, three times a week for three weeks for 30 minutes, and continually increase it as your fitness increases.
You are the only one who can set yourself up for success and the best way to do this is being realistic and planning for success but also setbacks. Have your support systems in place and do something every day that moves you closer to where you want to be and who you want to become.
Inside Weight Loss Success Series: New Year’s Resolutions 1
Now that we are 2 weeks post-New Year’s Resolutions how are you going?
This will be an ongoing series about resolutions, goals and how to stay motivated throughout the year so that you achieve what you want this year.
Here is the real story and stats on New Year’s Resolutions:
- 1 week post-resolution - 75% of people continue
- 2 weeks post-resolution - 71% of people continue
- 1 month post-resolution - 64% of people continue
- 6 months post-resolution - 46% of people continue
- 12 months post-resolution - 15% of people stick to their resolution and achieve their goals (Norcross, Mrykalo, Blagys, 2002).
These are appalling odds for success yet the majority of us make New Year’s resolutions year after year. Most of us know deep down or unconsciously that even though we want to be successful, we are setting ourselves up for failure. We have promised the same thing to ourselves over and over again and we consistently fail and this reduces our belief in our own ability to achieve. Leading up to setting a New Year’s resolution based on health, the behaviours that we are wanting to change intensify. For example if your resolution is to lose weight or stop binge eating you are more likely to overeat, binge and put on weight leading up to ‘D’ Day. If you are trying to quit smoking then you will smoke more leading up to ‘D’ Day. Many of us also go into our resolutions not fully prepared and without the right support. There have been some interesting findings from some studies that we can learn from.
A study by Wiseman et al. (2007) tracked 3000 people who had set New Year’s resolutions. Even at the beginning of the study only 52% of people were confident that they were going to achieve their goals. However only 12% of the group achieved their resolutions. The study found that the following resolutions were the most successful:
- enjoy life more - 32%
- improve fitness - 29%
- lose weight - 28%
- be more organised - 27%
- quit or reduce drinking - 25%
- quit or reduce smoking - 24%
The same study also discovered gender differences in goal setting and success. Men were 22% more likely to succeed when they set goals that were rather than general. For example, losing 1kg per week rather than losing weight. Men were also more successful if they focused on the rewards of the goal such as losing weight to become more attractive.
The study found that women were 10% more successful if they announce the goal publicly to friends and family. They benefit from the support and encouragement if they have setbacks rather than completely failing. It also found that women were reluctant to announce their goals publicly. It may be helpful to place the goals on a large piece of paper and keep it in view in the home to see as this provides motivation.
In the next post I will discuss further research and what else is needed to make resolutions/goals successful and keep you on track.
Clothes: the Dieter’s Dilemma
The biggest dilemma for most dieters is changing clothing sizes and the cost, especially in this economic climate. I have come across two websites that vary in how they cost effectively help people with changing sizes.
The first website is a trading website called SizeXchange. There is a monthly membership fee and you put your clothes on the site and swap them. It is based on a points system and the only other cost for you is the postage. SizeXchange is based in the Southern Hemisphere and therefore accessible to Australia and New Zealand.
The other website is a rental website called Transitional Sizes. It is based on a monthly rental of clothing of name brand clothes. There is a membership fee that provides discounts on your rentals. Transitional Sizes is based in the Northern Hemisphere and therefore accessible to the US and Canada.
I hope this information helps all of you out there find clothes a little cheaper.
Kellee Waters on A Current Affair
The A Current Affair story aired on 23rd December, 2008. I was featured as the expert weight loss psychologist. The story looks at an issue faced by all dieters and weight loss surgery patients - changing clothing sizes. The story features an affordable website, SizeXchange where you can trade your clothes online. I am the weight loss coach for the site. Just click on the logo below to view the story.
